An Exercise in Psychology #1: The Litterbug Study

Litterbugs are strange creatures, they come from all cultures, can be male or female, young or old. They are for the most part just like me and you, they also look just like me and you. If you walked past a litterbug in the street you would not be able to tell them apart from any other person on that street, they look pretty normal. They like to eat food, drink soda and smoke cigarettes. They go to work, like walks in the park, bike rides and sunny days on the beach. Litterbugs share many things with regular everyday people, that is until they are required to perform one very specific function. This seemingly simple task exposes the litterbug for what they really are. What is it you ask? What is this task? Why are you singling out the litterbug for attack?Listen, litterbugs are very different from me and you, let me explain how and why. Let’s start by classifying the different types of litterbug. I’m going to concentrate today on a particularly nasty and prevalent type, Idontcare leavemyshitanywhereus more universally known as the beach litterbug most commonly found on hot sunny days around the coast, very rarely seen in the winter months. These creatures normally migrate great distances to visit the beach with their offspring in the Summer season.

Having observed this creature for many years I have begun to identify very distinct sub genres within this class, here are the most common types:

The Obsessive ‘White Tissue’ Planter

Normally female, this type of litterbug is ironically obsessed with cleanliness. After using a Kleenex to wipe a runny nose or an infants ice cream covered sticky hand she will secretly ‘plant’ the tissue into the sand on a beach hoping it will grow in to a pretty tree. Vast gardens of these white tissue ‘plants’ often sprout after a hot sunny day on most of our beaches. These tissue flowers can also be seen sprouting on the ground around where ‘Soccer Mom Vans’ have been in parking lots.

The ‘Dog Poo’ Gift Giver

Dogs need to go to the bathroom, it’s a fact of nature. And some dog owners are so proud of the fact that fido made a Mr.PooPoo on the beach that they want to share it with you! Some owners are happy to leave it in full view for you to enjoy. Other litterbugs will gift wrap it in a nice colored plastic bag and leave for you as a surprise on your favorite beach walk. Hey! Poo and now plastic left to litter and pollute the environment, double score!

The ‘Cigarette Butt’ Head

Smoke if you must, hey it’s a free country. This litterbug likes to use the beach as a giant ashtray. Can also be found holding said butt at arms length out of the car window in the parking lot (why do that? Do cigarettes smell bad or something?), these people also can’t be bothered to dispose of there butts properly they just use the parking lot as an ashtray.

The ‘Party Fire’ Armageddon crew

Gathering around a fire takes us back to a primal sense buried deep in our physic. What early man did not do was drink copious amounts of Coors Lite and chug 1.5 litre bottles of cheap liquor while eating Taco Bell or McDonalds, then just walking away from the fire pit while tossing the

The ‘Junk Food Junkie’

When the junk food junkie sits down on the beach to enjoy their sugary feast they often leave all the wrappers, cans and bottles behind. It must be that they are so tired from the sugar crash that they do not have the strength to lift those heavy pieces of paper and plastic and carry them to a trash can. Soda Cans, Taco Bell wrappers, McDonalds cups, Twinkie wrappers, candybar foil and all sorts of plastic boxes. This is the aftermath of a junkfest feast. Funny that you never see soy milk cartons, health bar wrappers or any good wholesome food or drink trash on our beaches, or anywhere for that matter. But in stark contrast what I do see all the time is the opposite end of the dietary spectrum mentioned earlier. Mmmm… What does that say about the people who actually leave junk food trash on the beach?

So back to my original question, the inability to perform a simple task that I refer to in the opening paragraphs which makes litterbugs different from me and you is simply this, they are incapable of putting litter in to a trash can!

The Sad, Sad Facts

• Americans throw away 40 million tons of paper, 28 billion bottles, 60 billion cans, and 4 million tons of plastic every year
• The average American generates at least six pounds of trash each and every day
• Annually, approximately 14 billion pounds of trash is discarded on beaches, in rivers, or in coastal waters and ends up as marine debris
• Plastic bags and other plastic garbage that ends up in the ocean kills nearly 1 million sea creatures every single year
• Plastic trash comprises 60 to 80% of all litter. It has an incredibly long life. A plastic six-pack cover is expected to last 450 years
• Almost 90% of floating marine debris is plastic. There are over 46,000 pieces of plastic debris floating on every square mile of ocean today

Pack it in, Pack it out.